For parents of autistic children, the start of each school year can be a worrying experience. Those first few days are often filled with anxiety as your child makes their way into a new classroom with a new teacher who may not know about the challenges your child faces.
It’s important to say at this point that teachers face their own challenges. Teaching a large group of children isn’t easy, or for the faint-hearted. Great teachers work tirelessly to create a challenging, nurturing environment for their pupils, and those who teach can make an amazing difference.
But not all teachers are familiar with autism, at least not in the way parents of an autistic child are. As a parent, I’m the expert on my child. I know what prompts challenging or disruptive behaviours, what they find stressful and what triggers them. I quickly learned the importance of passing this information on to my child’s teacher so they could support my child, but it would have been great to know this from the start.
In this article, I share a few things I’ve said to my child’s school that have really made a difference. Hopefully, these things will help you and your child too. You may want to mention these things next time you speak to your child’s teacher. If you speak to them via email, it might be worth sending them a link to this article.
Celebrate positive actions. Your opinions matter to my child.
Self-esteem can be fragile. One of the most problematic challenges can be other peoples’ perceptions of autism. Unfortunately, many autistic children are remembered for their meltdowns rather than what they’re good at.
To ensure this doesn’t happen, make sure my child’s positive achievements are noticed and celebrated. Let them know all the things that make them awesome. Help them to understand their meltdowns in terms of the triggers and work together to manage them. Recognise them as a whole person with a unique personality rather than a set of symptoms or behaviours. When you appreciate and build on their strengths and interests, you will develop and strengthen their confidence and self-esteem.
Each autistic child is unique and here’s what affects my child
All autistic people share certain difficulties but being autistic will affect each person differently. This is why autism is often described as a spectrum. Even if you’ve had other autistic kids in your classes before, it’s important to recognise that they’re all totally different. Let me tell you the main things they are currently struggling with, as well as their strengths and coping mechanisms.
Always be clear and direct
Autistic children need clear, direct instructions rather than ambiguous prompts. For example, saying, “you didn’t tidy your table” is a statement and won’t prompt action from my child. If you want my child to tidy the table, ask them directly by saying, “Tidy your table now, please”. Communicate exactly what you want them to do. Don’t invite them – tell them directly. If you ask, “Would you like to read the next paragraph in the book?” don’t be surprised or upset if they interpret that question literally and say no!
When you don’t understand their behaviours, look for a sensory explanation
Sensory issues are often a huge part of my autistic child’s life. If my child starts to act differently, scream, act aggressively or get distracted, please look at what’s going on in the surroundings. Are the lights too bright or is the room too noisy? Having a safe space they can go to can allow them to reset their overwhelmed senses. This will give you time to adjust to the environment and could help them to settle again and prevent challenging behaviours.
Be prepared for and plan ahead for meltdowns
Autistic children often find it difficult to understand and manage their feelings. Their hyper and hyposensitivity to physical spaces and social situations mean that they can quickly go from being ok to being overwhelmed by their emotions in a matter of seconds. Expect meltdowns as they’re a regular part of my child’s day. Please recognise their impact on my child and know that meltdowns are not a behaviour choice, but a result of being overwhelmed. Prepare to have a safe space or a routine you can use to help them get over their meltdown.
Please explain my child’s behaviour to the other students
The sad reality is that children often pick on people whose behaviour they don’t understand. When my child is not in the room, please provide the other students with an age-appropriate explanation of autism. Tell them why my child might behave differently, need extra help, or say things that might seem strange to them. Teach them the skills to interact confidently with my child and provide support for my child to do the same.
