People love Christmas – it’s a fact. However, for autistic people it can be both a time of great excitement and high anxiety. I wanted to discuss the many ways in which an autism-friendly atmosphere can be created during the holiday season, so that when the 25th does comes around, it will feel less like walking on eggshells and more like ‘walking in the air’.
Here are five easy steps for creating an autism-friendly Christmas.
Keeping Christmas sensory-friendly
Problem: Many autistic people can suffer from sensory overload. As a result, things like strong smells from festive foods or flickering lights from Christmas trees can pose a very real problem.
Solution: Two very effective ways of helping an autistic person with their sensory issues are:
- Give the individual more control over what will affect them, eg letting them set up the Christmas tree and ornaments, or, if they are not capable of doing so, asking them for their opinion when setting up the Christmas tree and ornaments.
- Preparing the person in advance for what they can expect over the festive season, eg some autistic people can find the constant use of jingle bells in songs alarming. Playing this kind of music quietly in the background during the lead up to Christmas, can make the effects of the repetitive high-pitched noise tolerable (sadly no amount of preparation will ever make Noddy Holder screaming ‘it’s Christmas’ more tolerable).
Preparing for small talk can make a big difference
Problem: It’s no secret that many autistic people suffer from communication issues. This can present considerable difficulty at Christmas as ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ also happens to be the most social time too.
Solution: To help with this, it is important to follow certain autistic communication strategies, like letting the autistic person lead the conversation, or making it clear when you are asking them a question.
These tactics, along with speaking slowly, will help to make conversation easier to process. As will learning how to spot when an autistic person is becoming overwhelmed and needs to leave a conversation. Signs of this may include:
- They might start making statements about what else they want/have to do
- They might become less responsive, giving short answers to questions
- They might start looking around the room (this is different from not making eye contact).
If you pick up on any of these signs, try to end the conversation and see what that person does. If they go, it doesn’t mean they were finding you boring, it just means they were running out of drive and needed to ‘recharge their batteries.’ On the other hand, you might just be boring (something which I, unfortunately, don’t have a solution for).
Presents don’t have to be a surprise
Problem: In the same way that you can cry with happiness, autistic people can experience anxiety attacks from being too excited. This is especially true when it comes to opening presents on Christmas morning, as all the possibilities, brightly wrapped gifts, and overwhelming options are enough to make them run to the upstairs bathroom, throw their head in the toilet and puke up every last chocolate from this year’s advent calendar…. not that this has ever happened to me before.
Solution: No one likes a party-pooper, but one easy way to solve this is to leave the gifts unwrapped and out of sight. This way, you can introduce each present one by one to the autistic person, and reduce the risk of them becoming overwhelmed.
Another possible solution to this is to keep a stimulating device close by so that, if things start becoming overwhelming, the autistic person has something to distract themselves with. Great examples of stimulating devices can be found in my Awesome Autism Christmas Gift Ideas post.
Creating a plan always helps
Problem: I often say that autistic people love routines, but the truth is, autistic people don’t love routines, we rely on them. Routines bring certainty and provide structure to the random moments which make up life. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this, so let me just cut right to it. Christmas is unpredictable and, as a result, autistic people can feel like they are going to battle all the previously mentioned problems, without our most valuable coping mechanism: our schedule.
Solution: Christmas doesn’t have to be unpredictable; given careful planning and prior notice of what’s to come/expect on the day, most autistic people can be put at ease. Make sure you repeat the details of this plan up to and including the big day. This means if you are just learning this today, create that plan now.
For those who have difficulty understanding verbal plans, use images in sequence to better explain what they will experience on the 25th (social stories). Remember, pictures will often be taken literally. So, if you show a non-verbal autistic person a picture of a Christmas meal with pigs in blankets on it, there sure as hell better be pigs in blankets on the menu.
Creating a realistic plan helps even more
Problem: To some, the idea of creating a plan for someone autistic may seem obvious, but you would be surprised how few people can’t stick to their own schedule.
Telling them what’s to come over the festive period and then changing the plan at the last second, is going to cause lots of unnecessary stress – as is developing a timetable which is unrealistic and results in them being overwhelmed before the end of the day.
Solution: Make sure you leave plenty of time when you are travelling somewhere over the festive period, and once you get there, plan for the uncertain certainty that you will stay longer than expected.
On the actual day, it is better to complete all major activities early (eg present opening and large family gatherings). This leaves us time to retreat back to the comfort of our routine if we need to later on.
Finally, if a plan does go wrong at the last minute (which it will), make sure there are some things which won’t change, such as going home at a certain time, eating a certain food, or seeing a certain person. This way, they will have an anchor to keep them grounded if and when things go wrong, but, for the love of God, make sure nothing stands in the way of us getting home in time for Doctor Who!
